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Im not saying it's a fear of rejection, just that the allegation that men are "afraid of commitment" is bollocks. Men are "afraid" of that specific ty...
Im not saying it's a fear of rejection, just that the allegation that men are "afraid of commitment" is bollocks. Men are "afraid" of that specific type of commitment but with very good reasons. Afraid isn't even the word I'd use there, it's usually used to describe a fear beyond rationality. Often when they meet the "right woman", there is no "fear of committment" whatsoever.
And usually, the guy who is "afraid" to commit isn't actually afraid at all, he just doesn't want it with that particular woman, but her telling herself it's some fear he has is easier for her ego to hear than alternatives like that he doesn't like her that much/doesn't see her that way/she "wasted her time" trying to extract commitment from him. In other words, she gets to believe he didn't choose NOT to commit to her specifically, he was just blanket afraid of commitment.
Very similar to how she thinks her ex is "avoidant". He's not avoidant, he just... wasn't that into you. But again, the easier story for her ego to hear is that he has a broken attachment style that made him avoid intimacy/commitment. That's why he ignored her texts. That's why he never prioritized her. The much more likely story is that she was on his roster and he was never particularly interested in her. Given that the majority of female attention is focused on a small subset of the male population, you can see how this would be statistically quite common.
To be more specific, I hear this "fear of committment" phrase from women in two general circumstances:
1. when they tell a guy he is afraid of commitment as some kind of guilt trip/reverse psychology voodoo to make him say "oh no, I'm not afraid, see I'll prove it to you by committing"
2. When describing their exes and experiences with men who rejected them by never agreeing to commitment in the first place.
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